Would I Make A Good Spider-Man (According to Marvel's Spider-Man PS4 2018)?



Marvel's Spider-Man Accolades Art
Suffice to say, this game was reviewed pretty well
I have spent an absurd amount of time playing Marvel's Spider-Man (2018) over the last week or so. Hours upon hours upon hours. In fact, I would not be surprised to learn that since I downloaded the game I have spent more hours playing it than not playing it. Having finally achieved the game's Platinum trophy, as well as 100% on both the main game and DLC (I think I am going to hold off on my New Game+ play-through for now), I can't help but feel a sense of... "Why?". Why did I do that? I had a great time, and as the reviews above suggest, it is a very good game and I strongly recommend it,  but I feel like with all that time spent something else should come of it. Something worthwhile.

My first thought was a review but lets be honest, the game came out two years ago and every nerdy comic book loser with a blog has already said everything there needs to be said about it. "The web swinging is great... the gadgets are fun... the story is good... the Mary Jane stealth bits are annoying" etc etc. I feel like by contributing another review I am contributing nothing and my investment of hours upon hours is still meaningless. No, what I am going to do is something that as far as I know (and really hope) no one else has done before. Rather than review the game, I am going to review myself and finally answer the age old question of whether I personally would make a good Spider-Man (According to Marvel’s Spider-Man PS4 (2018)).

Resilience


I’ve decided the most accurate way to go about answering this question is to divide my answer into five parts, each of them a fundamental aspect of Spider-Man, give myself a score for each and then calculate an overall score at the end. Resilience is obviously a massive part of Spider-Man’s character, both emotionally and physically, and without it he would have given up on being Spider-Man a long time ago.


Some people would argue that I’m not resilient, that the first time I ever came to a difficult situation in life I gave up, completely flunked my exams, and let myself down massively, however, this is about whether I make a good Spider-Man according Marvel’s Spider-Man PS4 (2018), not whether I make a good Spider-Man according to my mum (that’s my next post). With that in mind I would argue that I am in fact resilient, simply because I managed to obtain the platinum for this game whilst playing on the hardest difficulty. In the interest of honesty, I must admit that I did not get 3 stars on all the Taskmaster web swinging challenges and therefore must dock myself a point.


Score: 9/10


Intelligence


Being smart is a crucial element to being a good Spider-Man, and it’s something Peter Parker excels at. Whether it be creating his own web shooters and gadgets, calculating the correct angles and forces needed to web swing effectively, or simply coming up with the best way to thwart the villain’s plan, Peter Parker always has the goods. Do I on the other hand?


Again, my most recent exam results would suggest otherwise but that’s not relevant here. The closest this game comes to analysing your intelligence is giving you weird little puzzles to solve. Some of them involve filling in gaps in an electrical circuit, some involve figuring out which shape fits where - it’s very basic stuff but I was okay at it. You could argue some of the stealth sections where you had to figure out how to eliminate a room of guards undetected was also an intelligence test, and I was okay at that too.


Score: 7/10


Loving Mary Jane Watson


This is the first category I properly struggled in because I did not love Mary Jane whilst I was playing Marvel’s Spider-Man PS4 (2018). I have enjoyed Mary Jane in other mediums but this game makes her really annoying in so many ways. The stealth sections are the first thing that comes to mind, where the game forces you to stop swinging around and fighting bad guys so you can sneak around a museum. There are more of these than you’d expect, and other than one towards the end where you get to use a taser, they are all really annoying.


Ignoring the gameplay, her character is also incredibly annoying. She’s constantly having a go at Peter for not letting her come on missions with him and trying to keep her out of trouble, and implying he’s some sexist monster for doing so. He literally has superpowers. If he was still just a nerdy science boy and she had the spider powers then she’d be the one out there fighting crime. ALSO (and spoiler alert for very old DLC for a game you’ve either already played or know you never will), she gets really annoyed at Peter and stops speaking to him when he tells her Black Cat has a son and it might be his. It’s not like he was hiding this from her because he didn’t know either, and it’s not like she didn’t know him and Black Cat were once in a relationship. He’s done nothing wrong and needs her support and she literally goes to another country. If I was Spider-Man I’d definitely leave her and go for Black Cat.


Score: 2/10 (A point added on because tasing people was great)


Time Management


You could argue this is a characteristic a good Spider-Man needs to have, but one that Peter Parker lacks. It’s classic Spider-Man, so busy saving the world he forgot to pay his rent and now he’s homeless (this happens in this game and it is excellent). His friendships, his career, his love-life, all suffer because he can’t effectively manage his time, be honest with the time he has and stick to the task at hand.


I stuck to the task at hand on this game. If I decided I was doing the main story and made it my priority, and then a random crime popped up, you can guarantee I completely ignored it. I was not getting waylaid by any NPCs offering me side missions, I was sticking to the task at hand and seeing it through. Whilst this made the platinum a bit of a slog at the end, with every side mission and random crime needing to be completed, I would argue it makes me a better Spider-Man.


Score: 10/10


Humour


Spider-Man in this game is pretty funny. Sure, when you dedicate as many hours as I have his quips start to get rather repetitive, but I still feel like the game gets his characterisation right and makes him suitably funny. There’s a line in particular where he’s speaking to Otto Octavius and explains that humour is how he deals with tense situation (or something to that effect) and whilst it’s a little on the nose, it does sum up Spider-Man perfectly.


How funny am I compared to Spider-Man? Well openly stating how funny you believe yourself to be is not a pleasant task. I wouldn’t say I’m unfunny, this blog is pretty light and jokey. Then again it’s not hilarious. I doubt anyone read my post on Marvel Champions card art and cried with laughter. I think I’m just going to say I’m average funny, and if you disagree you can use you own score and you can decide how good of a Spider-Man I would be according to Marvel’s Spider-Man PS4 (2018).


Score: 5/10 


Conclusion


I feel like the conclusion we’ve came to is that I would be an okay Spider-Man according to Marvel’s Spider-Man PS4 (2018). I shouldn’t be replacing Peter Parker any time soon, but I could certainly step in from time to time if Peter Parker was unavailable for any reason. I might not be MJ’s favourite Spider-Man, and I might not be as funny as Peter, but I could do a reasonable job and keep things ticking over till he gets back.


Average Score: 6.6/10






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